Dating Today: My Two Cents
Thursday, April 22, 2010
So I've just spent the better part of an hour tracking down the various clips to Nightline's 'Why Can't A Successful Black Woman Find A Man?". They had their own experts on both sides of the issue and Steve Harvey to help mediate the discussion, but I still feel like they talked around the main issue. How long is this same issue going to be discussed? Ok, so the world knows that there are 1.8 million more black women than men. Well then why aren't we prepared to look outside our race for a partner? If you know that it is statistically much harder to find someone of your own race, why are women still stubbornly pigeon holing themselves into an even narrower pool of possibilities?
I am not going to lie. I have standards and things I would like from any partner in a relationship. Maybe they've changed, maybe they've become a bit broader as I age, but they're still there - and let me tell you right now they're not going anywhere. The men who spoke on Nightline mentioned women with 'The Denzel Complex' - those who were looking for a type of man that just doesn't exist outside of the movies. Well if I'm not supposed to ask for too much here, can I at least ask for a man who doesn't stare at my tits and doesn't recognize that I have a brain? If, as Hill Harper says, I'm supposed to look for potential, can I ask for a man who's employed and able to support himself? Who isn't trying to holla at me while living in his mom's basement? I'm just saying that if I can pay rent so can you.
Maybe I'll be single and die alone with cats - who knows. What I guess I know is that either way I'm not wasting my time on someone who asks me to buy his groceries or who isn't interested in anything more then when's the next time I can come over and rock his world. Because I have too many dreams and too many ambitions to be wasting them on a man who doesn't see or want anything but the outside.
The End.
I am not going to lie. I have standards and things I would like from any partner in a relationship. Maybe they've changed, maybe they've become a bit broader as I age, but they're still there - and let me tell you right now they're not going anywhere. The men who spoke on Nightline mentioned women with 'The Denzel Complex' - those who were looking for a type of man that just doesn't exist outside of the movies. Well if I'm not supposed to ask for too much here, can I at least ask for a man who doesn't stare at my tits and doesn't recognize that I have a brain? If, as Hill Harper says, I'm supposed to look for potential, can I ask for a man who's employed and able to support himself? Who isn't trying to holla at me while living in his mom's basement? I'm just saying that if I can pay rent so can you.
Maybe I'll be single and die alone with cats - who knows. What I guess I know is that either way I'm not wasting my time on someone who asks me to buy his groceries or who isn't interested in anything more then when's the next time I can come over and rock his world. Because I have too many dreams and too many ambitions to be wasting them on a man who doesn't see or want anything but the outside.
The End.
Standing Side by Side
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Yes I know this is a post with a lot of words and no pictures. I couldn't help it, feel free to skip at your leisure.
I didn't question the usefulness of a multicultural organization when I first stumbled upon Theta Nu Xi. I would have
to say instead that my first reaction was one of relief; relief to finally find an organization that would work with me and all that made up who I was. There was never a question of me choosing a part of my heritage to honor, of choosing which parent was going to be the one that was allowed to 'represent' me. The beauty inherent in Theta Nu Xi is that it's never about choosing just one thing - it's about being able to choose everything.
What does that mean? It means that the word multicultural is representative of the ability of the organization to welcome, encourage, and support women from all walks of life. I came into this sisterhood knowing intrinsically that the ideas and goals and interests that mattered the most to me would matter to my sisters. That every direction I turned I would find someone who would want to help make positive change in the world - and that the change they believed in would never be directed at one particular group over another.
I would never presume to say that there isn't a place for more culturally specific organizations - that isn't true and I know many people who have found a place for themselves in them. Instead I would say that for the women of Theta Nu Xi the world is too diverse a place to make a decision about what one people should get the focus of their efforts. Instead we are able to co-host with a number of Greek and non-Greek organizations to do the most to benefit our communities, since the diversity of our sisterhood determines the diversity of our programming - if a sister is inspired to do it, then there isn't a reason it can't be done. Our mission allows us that freedom, the freedom to welcome women of all ethnicities, races, cultures, religions, backgrounds, and lifestyles into our ranks, to help them become more than they were before.
I believe that sometimes it's hard to recognize the greatness of a multicultural organization. The uniqueness of maintaining a sisterhood that is dedicated to welcoming those who are different from ourselves. Being multicultural means that not only are you actively engaging those around you, but you are also upholding what makes you who you are. The melting pot is probably one of the most recognized symbol of diversity, but it is not really an accurate comparison because no one is trying to melt someone down to be like everyone else. We stand side by side as examples of our lives and our cultures, and we stand side by side respecting and supporting each other in everything that we hope to accomplish.
Ok. I'll get off my soap box now.
Hey Everyone (everyone being the 8 or so people who possibly, maybe, read this blog)! Sorry I've been sucking lately and not been by with rants or pictures or anything really to give you guys a clue about what's going on in my life. Believe it or not that is a very good representation of the fact that I am WAY TOO BUSY and I often find myself too tired to even think. SMH. Who can't even find time to rant about things that drive them crazy?
I can at least say that 1 thing can be crossed off my list - sorority reunion! This past Saturday and Sunday I spent the time with some of the best people you could ever find: my sorority sisters. I have been a proud member of Theta Nu Xi Multicultural Sorority, Incorporate since I joined in the Spring of 2006 and this year the chapter I joined, Delta, celebrated their 10th anniversary on Duke's campus. Crazy right?! TEN YEARS of working to support diversity and encourage leadership in the heart of the South, which I can tell you is not the easiest thing to do.
Either way I was able to spend these couple of days with chapter and National Founders, with women who started chapters and some who just joined a legacy. There is always room to want more to be there, but I think it we did a damn good go at it anyway.
I leave you with some of the photos I took this past weekend, to unashamedly show off my beautiful sisters - THETA NU!
Me and my ACE : Sarah aka Shadow Mosaic. She hates pictures, and I obviously don't care.
Beta Founder on my right, Alpha Sister on my left. How can I go wrong?
The Dynamic Delta Chapter (some alumnae + current sisters)
Sisters from across NC after a National Founders' Day celebration Dinner at Mt. Fuji's in Durham, NC.
I can at least say that 1 thing can be crossed off my list - sorority reunion! This past Saturday and Sunday I spent the time with some of the best people you could ever find: my sorority sisters. I have been a proud member of Theta Nu Xi Multicultural Sorority, Incorporate since I joined in the Spring of 2006 and this year the chapter I joined, Delta, celebrated their 10th anniversary on Duke's campus. Crazy right?! TEN YEARS of working to support diversity and encourage leadership in the heart of the South, which I can tell you is not the easiest thing to do.
Either way I was able to spend these couple of days with chapter and National Founders, with women who started chapters and some who just joined a legacy. There is always room to want more to be there, but I think it we did a damn good go at it anyway.
I leave you with some of the photos I took this past weekend, to unashamedly show off my beautiful sisters - THETA NU!
Me and my ACE : Sarah aka Shadow Mosaic. She hates pictures, and I obviously don't care. 
Beta Founder on my right, Alpha Sister on my left. How can I go wrong?
The Dynamic Delta Chapter (some alumnae + current sisters)
Sisters from across NC after a National Founders' Day celebration Dinner at Mt. Fuji's in Durham, NC.WE ARE DUKE
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I am hot, sweaty, tired, and emotionally drained. Yet it was all worth it because Duke University is the 2010 NATIONAL CHAMPION!!!!
"We are the champions - my friendsAnd we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
