The Adventures of Dana & Jessy (the roommate)

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**Sorry guys, I'm having some Blogger trouble so I had to post two slightly unequal halves.***

Big Girl Dressing Volume II: Finding a place to shop

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I've come to a sad and depressing conclusion: until I get paid more I'm never going to be able to dress my body exactly as I would want to. I don't know how anyone who's not the 'average' size and shape could!

I've tried to be only a closet whiner about the trials and tribulations of dressing my body. My body is curvy all over and top heavy for most things, and it takes a lot of work to not look ridiculous in my everyday life. Lately I've been trying new distributors, visiting different stores, hoping to find something that while may not be perfect off the rack, also wouldn't require $50 worth of tailoring to make fit. I've come to the conclusion that this dream is going to have to be added to the basket of impossible dreams. If you're not the person who can fit into the
Faith21 line at Forever 21, plus sized clothing is just always going to be absurdly expensive.

To clarify, I'm not saying that expensive, better made alternatives shouldn't be out there for plus sized ladies. I'm saying why isn't there a middle ground for what has proven to be the norm for the population? Size 14 is the
average people - not a size 2. I don't think you're going to convince me that somehow the fabric necessary to make a size 14 dress requires a 150% markup in price.

My roommate has pointed out to me that the price is in reality more a reflection of the fact that the items made for plus size women are not made in bulk, thus costing more per item to produce.

I don't care.

I understand that argument but it still doesn't quite compute, because plus size items should be made in bulk. The market is there, but the culture of fashion hasn't caught up to reality.

I've been browsing through the list of designers featured at the Full Figured Fashion Week in NYC (which I just found out happened - thanks Jezebel!) and while I love what's featured I can't afford much of anything on my currently receptionist salary. Grr.

Oh well. To close out this post, here is a list of designers/stores I like that feature plus size fashion. I'm not going to include some of the generics like
Roamans because I don't think their fashion is particularly all that attractive - or made well enough to be mentioned. I like to have some pizazz (or at least the option for pizazz) in my clothing and I want to look my age, so while I haven't purchased from all of these places I can least say that I've read really good reviews about them and I personally like what I see.

Budget Friendly ($)

Forever 21 (their Faith21 section isn't bad if you can fit it)
Target maternity section (don't judge - they make room for the bust and are often cuter than anything else there)
Old Navy (I hate to mention them because it irked me when they moved their entire section to being exclusively online, but they are an option)

Mid-range ($$)

Torrid (often have 50% off clearance sales, and while not uber well made, it's always cute)
Lane Bryant (a little generous with their sizing, but if you can fit it they make great work appropriate items)
Ashely Stewart (can be a little hit or miss, but if you can get to it the store's usually worth a look)

Expensive ($$$) (usually around $100+)

Pin Up Girl Clothing (old school drama!)
Igigi (wonderful at everything)
Kiyonna (dresses galore)
Monif C. (love the convertible dress)
Carissa Rose (clothing fit determined by bust size)

Things I found while Googling

Sealed With a Kiss Designs

Action Babes Volume 1: Women

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Randomly combing the internet this morning I happened upon a post from focusing on the Top 10 Action Babes. Websites like that one makes posts with similar themes all the time, but something about seeing it this morning just inspired me to see which women would make their list. Thank goodness I did because it was another WONDERFUL example of how men are idiots!

I'm not saying that the list didn't include some quality babe-a-licious women. What I'm saying is that quite a few those picked were people
who were too new or not popular enough to deserve the spot, and that the order of their list was all out of whack.'s list of Top 10: Action Babes
10. Carrie-Ann Moss
9. Summer Glau
8. Halle Berry

7. Michelle Rodriguez
6. Kate Beckinsale

5. Jessica Alba
4. Uma Thurman

3. Milla Jovavich
2. Charlize Theron

1. Angelina Jolie

I'm sure that a lot of you are asking - what's wrong with this list? Well we didn't feel like Summer Glau should really be up there, or Jessica Alba all that much. Halley Berry was too crappy in Catwoman to really be mentioned as an action babe and then Carrie-Ann Moss should be MUCH higher than 10. She kicked major ass in Matrix.

After a LOT of agonizing debate (who knew Uma
Thurman and Angelina Jolie would be so contentious?) the girls and I came up with our own top 10 list. Picking the women on it weren't so hard, but choosing who would be what number was difficult because it's all subjective! Do we pick this one because she's the better actor or that one because she does more action movies? Headache city.

Bittersweet Musings Top 10 Action Babes (Women)

10. Eliza Dushku
9. Maggie Q
8. Sarah Michelle Gellar
7. Ziyi Zhang
6. Michelle
5. Carrie-Ann Moss
4. Angelina Jolie

3. Uma Thurman
2. Milla Jovavic
1. Kate Beckinsale

Unsurprisingly really, we couldn't leave it there and thus feel compelled to point out some honorable mentions:
*Bridget Fonda
*Peta Wilson

*Lucy Lawless

*Jamie Lee Curtis

*Sigourney Weaver

Don't forget to check back soon for the next installment - Action Babes Volume 2: Men!!!

A Pinky Kind of Gold

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I first saw this pink/gold look on YouTube, in one of MakeupAdikt's videos. She described as a modern Indian or Pakistani bride look - I can't confirm this, I truthfully have no idea. What struck me was how pretty and soft the look was, when it was combining two sticking colors: pink and gold. I'm not wearing false lashes, just the combo of the two Rimmel mascaras.

Products Used:
**Disclaimer - I was shading in products left and right, from a variety of palettes, so I'm sorry if this isn't quite as accurate as it could be.**
--MAC eyeshadow Glamorous (and a little of Urban Decay's Oraculum)
--Cover Girl eyeshadow Hot Cider
--Tarte Holiday set, light and dark pink blushes
--FaceFront Cosmetics loose shadow in Little Gremlin
--elf Mineral Shadow in Glamorous
--NYX eyeshadow in Black
--Sephora Brand kohl and liner (01 keep black)
--Mascara: Rimmel Lycra Lash Extender (001 Black) & Rimmel MAX Volume Flash (003 Extreme Black)

I would go ahead and do a more detailed description here of how I did the look, but I think it's safer to tell you to go check out MakeupAdikt's video. Her instructions are very clear and it will also show you the original products picked to make this look instead of the hodge podge of stuff I have listed here.

Blues I actually like on me

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**I am not wearing foundation/concealer in this pic. I was messing around one day and I didn't have everything prepped to be taking pictures.**

Now this look I definitely want to talk about because it started as an experiment and turned into something I really liked. I've tried using blue shadow on myself before but it always turned into this huge mess and the color always looked vaguely wrong. Finally one day I was playing around with my NYX Jumbo pencil and started shaping the black base and said what the hell, let's see what happens - I pulled out some loose shadow by MAC and Facefront and started packing it on.

The amazing thing was that the colors were beautiful from start to finish, and on top of the black base turned 3 dimensional - all unexpected, all fantastic.

Products Used:
--NYX Jumbo Eyeshadow Pencil in Black Bean
--FaceFront Cosmetics loose shadow in Rawsicle
--MAC Pigment in Pure Luxe
--MAC Fluidline in Blacktrack
--Sephora Kohl and Liner (01 keep black)
--Mascara: Rimmel Lycra Lash Extender (001 Black) & Rimmel MAX Volume Flash (003 Extreme Black)

I used an artist's brush from AC Moore with synthetic bristles to shape the NYX Pencil; I dabbed it over my lid and then used the brush to smooth it out and create the cat eye shape. Then I used a flat shader brush to pack on Rawsicle in the inner half of my eye (it's a really light shimmery blue, but on top of the black looked totally different). I used that same brush to pack on the MAC Pigment but made sure to light move the brush back and forth over the border between the two colors to help blend the line so it wasn't obvious. I used the same combination of black base + blue shadows on the bottom lid, connecting Pure Luxe at the outer corner of my eye. Finally I used an AC Moore artist brush and the elf Small Smudge brush to draw out extended wing liner at the inner and outer corners of my eyes. Finally I used the Sephora kohl liner to line both my tight and water lines.

Drama I Don't Love (on me anyway....)

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While I don't like admitting when things don't work out, I figured what the heck because maybe someone can learn from my mistakes and do it better on their own time if I put up some pictures from my try. I loved this picture when I first saw the Tokidoki advertisement in an email from Sephora, and that love didn't diminish when I got my hands on the summer catalog and this was the cover look. I didn't actually use any Tokidoki products when I did my version of this, instead I used some FaceFront, Urban Decay, and MAC products I already had. I don't think that caused any issues with how everything turned out, instead I think I don't like this look on me for a couple of different reasons: 1) I do not think I have a face for high fashion/editorial/really dramatic looks. I think it might have something to do with the roundness of my face, but it just never turns out right.

2) I have an obvious crease but my eyes are not deep set, thus there is a lot of lid/eyebrow surface to cover. So when I wear the teal color from my crease up to my brow bone it looks too overwhelming when compared to the original. Plus with that large amount of lid space, there's really no way for me to convincingly make it look like the colors on my eyes are going almost continuously from the black liner straight to the teal section. There's always going to be a gap (unless I tried making the black liner REALLY think, which I don't think would stay true to the picture either).
Still I do think it was a good try in the end, and it let me try out something I've never done before - which is always good.

Products Used:
--elf Cream Liner in Black

--Urban Decay 24/7 liner in Flipside

--FaceFront Cosmetics loose shadow in Mantis Ginger

--Mascara: Rimmel Lycra Lash Extender (001 Black) & Rimmel MAX Volume Flash (003 Extreme Black)

When I tried this look I did the black liner first, and used a thin artist's brush from AC Moore to do the line across my lid that extended at the outer corner of my eyes. For the extended liner at the inner corner of my eye I used the elf Small Smudge Brush, which turns out to be the only brush I can use on that part of my eye that will always result in a nice thin line. Once I had the placement of the outer wing, I used that and the arch of my eyebrow to decide what the shape of the teal section would be. Once I sketched that out with UD Flipside, I filled in the entire section, from crease to eye brow, with the pencil liner. I then took a flat shader brush (again an artist's brush from AC Moore) to pack on Mantis Ginger over the liner to seal it and prevent smudging.

Thoughts on Sex Tapes

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The latest sex tape scandal to hit the media is one starring Girl's Next Door alum Kendra Wilkinson. I hadn't thought much of it truthfully, until last night when my roommate told me about an article that Jezebel did that discussed what actually occurs on the tape. To be completely frank, it doesn't sound like a sex tape - it sounds like a just-riding-that-line-to-rape tape. Throughout the whole video Kendra's saying no, that she doesn't feel comfortable, and many times she physically closes her legs (while still saying no) because she doesn't like what's happening. WHAT THE FUCK?! Why is this not being discussed? Does no one else see/care how wrong this is? There is no possible way Kendra could actually want this released, but since she can't stop it she's stuck getting a portion of the profits.

"It reminds me to some extent of the Paris Hilton sex tape, but even more so here. It's that space where young women have discovered and perfected their sexuality and its value, but haven't yet figured out how it's empowering. They just know that it's something people want from them; it's something people expect from them. Something young men expect from them; something, perhaps, that young men haven't learned how to ask for politely. It's uncomfortable and new and everybody's learning, and what happens, more often than not, is that the male partner's desires come first and more forcefully, and the young woman is disrespected and disempowered and left with a sense that she's less valuable and less capable of demanding respect and control than her male counterpart - a sense than lingers into her twenties and beyond, even though she might not recognize it as such."

- "Why the Kendra Wilkinson Sex Tape Should Make You Angry"

Personally I don't feel like any porn company,third party, or singular participant in a multi-person sex tape, has the right to release a tape of a sexual nature without the other party's explicit (written) consent. Everybody loves to talk about your rights, and what people can and can't do with your work, but women legally have no recourse to stop the release of a tape that shows them in sexual situations? Really?

In my opinion a sex tape is created with an implicit understanding that the tape is for the two people featured only. Any other use of the tape is prohibited without further permission. I don't care if you're Jenna Jamison, if you made a sex tape with a boyfriend when you were 18 in the privacy of your home and you don't want it released, it shouldn't be released. This isn't a matter of personal liability claims, I feel like this should be a criminal matter. If Erin Andrews could have prosecuted the man who took video of her nude in her hotel room, then anyone who is violated in such a way should have the same rights.

It's important for me to emphasize that - it shouldn't matter (though it might be more personally heartbreaking) that Kendra's sex tape is obviously a recording of someone coercing their partner into acts they don't want to participate in. Any kind of tape, especially one made between two people showing a sexually explicit situation, is created with the understanding that the tape is made for those two people. Any attempts at wider distribution without written consent, especially when that distribution is done with the intent of receiving material gain, should be a criminal offense. Victims should be able to prosecute under the full extent of the law to have distribution halted and the responsible party held accountable.