Big Girl Dressing in a Small Girl World

This post is going to be a combo of of a slight rant and a few style guidelines that I hope someone, somewhere, some time, will find helpful.

It's hard not being a size 2. It's hard not being able to go in a store and just find something that fits, is fashionable, and makes you feel beautiful. I am physically not ever going to be that small. My bones probably aren't even a size 2! Plus let's all be real about the fact that I'm top heavy and to work with that without appearing slutty or inappropriate is another obstacle.

The best thing I've learned about my body and from years of watching What Not To Wear (not mention from my one of the best Mom's ever) is that my body is ok just the way it is. All I have to do is learn to accept it, embrace it, and dress it in such a way that makes me feel beautiful, and things will mostly be ok.

This past weekend my sorority had a party and theme for all the sisters was that we had to wear black. There are a multitude of body sins that I work with when I'm shopping:

1) I like my shape but I don't like my stomach
2) Being top heavy I can't have anything that comes too high up in the front, but too low cut and I'm going to look sloppy
3) I don't mind my arms, but come on now: what woman doesn't want to look like she's been doing some arm curls?

All of this combined into me finally stumbling onto a dress I fell in love with, surprisingly enough from Forever 21's plus sized line. Here's the final look:

Now I loved this dress and how it did good things to my body, but let's talk about how this could have gone horribly wrong. It is very hard for busty women to pull off the tucked in look. I've decided that this is mostly due to a bad torso ratio, but no matter why, it's the truth. Even though you think you're doing something good by highlighting your waste by tucking in, you can end up seeming even larger then you actually are.

I think what made this look work was the on me in turned out to be slightly more empire wasted then tucked in. That with the pickups and the slight bubble at the bottom of the dress accentuated my hour glass shape, all without anything looking obscene. And while it's not the perfect angle, the height of my shoes also made everything seem really in proportion all over.

But of course for me, no look is just about the clothes. I really love creating a cool makeup look for events, and using some opinion feedback I decided to go with a very vibrant eye focused look that incorporated my sorority's colors:

I did this look using Urban Decay's Alice in Wonderland palette and added on some extravagant lashes by Ardel that I got at CVS.

Well I hope that was a somewhat interesting/helpful tutorial about feeling attractive, dressing great, and being happy as a big girl in a small girl world!

A Rant ( read at your own risk, there are a lot exclamation points)

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I'm not sure what it means that I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I'm trying the online dating thing. Or, to more realistically name it, online LOOKING! Cause let me tell you, I have gotten nary a date for all my efforts.

It's ridiculous!

I mean, look at me! I'm a mostly normal individual. Yes I have my quirks, but for the most part I think I'm on the average to above average side. I'm not hideous and I would like to think that I have a somewhat decent sense of humor - people don't actively avoid me in social situations. In fact, people have been known to say that I am witty on more than one occasion. So what does it mean that I can't find someone online to even like me enough to go out on a limb and ask me out for coffee?

Am I really asking for that much? Am I really asking for something that the male half of the population is incapable of providing? Somehow I don't think so!

I'm not asking for you to be Brad Pitt ok? I'm definitely one of those people who's willing to give the inside a chance to improve the outside, especially since for me the inside can completely knock you out of the running no matter your outside.

But still - I need you to be intelligent and I need you to have a sense of humor, mostly because I have to be able to talk to your ass! I'm not saying it has to be school/academic intelligence, I'm not even going that far (though college educated would be a treat), I'm just saying don't be an idiot!

I want someone to ask me out on a real date. One where we plan in advance, meet for coffee or hot chocolate, and sit down to chat. I'm sorry I'm not gonna be that girl that you take to the 'club' for some grinding - I'm not saying we'll never get there, but it's gonna take you a minute to make me believe you're worth the effort.

I like holding hands with someone; I like snuggling up against you while we're watching TV or a movie. I like it even more when I get to the point in a relationship where I get to just go up and hug you for no reason whatsoever besides the fact that I know I'll fit and because I'm happy to see you.

I like the idea that possibly for no reason at all you might bring me 1 flower or a dozen.

And the idea that I could feel comfortable enough to share the good and the bad, the goofy and the serious, the cool and the nerdy? I love that idea.

Does nobody else?

Do other people post from their bed?

Well, haha, as you can see from the title, I'm not being very productive with my Valentine's Day. I don't really care that it's V-Day, but I do hope that I find at least something productive to do with my day off when I have a three day weekend. Yay Presiden'ts Day; which I think should actually get more props than V-Day because it gets me out of work. Which is always an amazing thing.

Random sidenote, if you care, here are my current worries/wants:

1) I think my boss messed up my W2 and now I'm worried that I'm going to owe the MAN more money than I currently have. BIG STRESS!

2) I enjoy going out, but in general I don't enjoy spending money.

3) I really want a new camera - one that's better at picking up colors. It's very frustrating to do makeup looks that I like when my camera just can't take accurate pictures.

...........and back to our regularly scheduled programming. Yes - I think posting from bed gives you an interesting view of the world. I'm cuddled up in my blanket and the idea of just staying here and ignoring the world is a tempting one. Unfortunately my bed does not come with a refrigerator built in so I think I might have to move because I'm starting to get hungry!!

Happy President's Day!


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WIRBW - What I'd Rather Be Wearing



I think it's interesting what we choose to share with the world. I find myself now a little at a crossroads. I blog because sometimes there are just things I need to share that I can't figure out how to say in RL, but also because I like the community that can result from putting yourself out there. But what about the thoughts that I have that I'm not sure I want to send out into the pseudo-anonymity of cyberspace? When you blog you do so with the understanding that people are going to read it and respond to it in their own fashion. You don't and can't control what comes back to you once you put it out there.

Really this whole rambling post was sparked a few nights ago when I found myself writing in notepad instead of on here. When you're trying to work through life epiphanies you don't always want commentary, you know? Well maybe you do. but you want safe commentary - which is why I think a lot of people go to a therapist. But I can't imagine going to a stranger to talk, even if you're 'paying them to be able to trust them', as I've heard it put. It's interesting to me because I don't think it's so much about validation of what you're feeling but more about not feeling so alone with it.