Long time no blog! I'm not going to apologize really, it's 2021 and my sense of hope and/or optimism is rapidly fading. BUT. What hasn't faded is my desire to provide accurate swatches on the internet that are easily accessible to other Brown skin girls, because when I want to buy a new-to-me product blog posts are my ride or die. Which is why today we're going to do a quick run down of a handful of samples from FitGlow Beauty.

Conceal+ in Shades C3 (Medium), C3.5 (Medium Tan), C4.5 (Deep Tan), C5 (Deep); $42 (Save 20% with the code FITGLOWFAM)

Upon my initial testing I was surprised by two things: 1) while the model examples of FitGlow's website aren't particularly helpful, the color wheel is relatively accurate to real life 2) this concealer COVERS. It definitely benefits from the ability to warm it up on your fingers, and a little goes a very long way. Unfortunately none of this did much for the fact that there isn't really a good match for me here. I can't say that with 100% conviction because Shade C4 wasn't available to sample at the time I purchased, but none of their offerings appear to have the yellow undertone I prefer to brighten throughout the center of my face. C3.5 is too gray for me and C4.5 was a decent face match outside the eye area, but the rarity with which I spot conceal means it's not something I'd use often.

Still I hope these real life swatches help, especially for a brand that's online only. I also took the time to swatch some of the other concealers in my collection, though the ILIA and Kosas are the only ones I'm using right now with any regularity. Hashtag thanks-panini-none-of-my-makeup-suits-me-after-a-year-inside.

Left to Right:
ILIA True Skin Serum Concealer in "Wasabi" ($30); Kosas Revealer Concealer in "05" ($28); FitGlow Beauty Conceal+ in C3, C3.5, C4.5, C5 ($42); Pat McGrath Skin Fetish Sublime Concealer in "LM14" ($32); Clé de Peau Beauté Stick Concealer in "Honey" ($73)

Phew! All the things there. But I'm done - short and sweet because these didn't work for me, but I do hope this information helps you. And as always, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to reach out and let me know!

Could I spend Friday Book Club talking about more than one book? Yes, absolutely. I may in fact immediately do a February post for a few of the other ones I've finished lately, but today all I really want to talk about is Mikoto and the Reaver Village.

(And I'm switching the stylistic font choices of this series temporarily, because I can't imagine anyone wants to read a billion paragraphs in italics.)

Mikoto and the Reaver Village by Forthright (Fantasy)

My Thoughts: I discovered Forthright what feels like a billion years ago (but was actually July 2018) via a blog post by Ilona Andrews and I've pretty much been obsessed ever since.  It's just something about their books. Maybe it is as Andrews says, that they are low heat and high intimacy, but as the series goes on it is one I consider anchored by romance but romance adjacent. As the cast grows I think the plot moves by the strength of all the characters, not just the main couple and the combination forces me to pay attention, especially in a story like Mikoto's.

Each book builds on information from the previous one, but in particular this book is tied to Kimiko and the Accidental Proposal and heavily features the characters from it. And as many times as I've reread that since it's original publishing in 2018, there were moments where I had to wrack my brain to correctly remember the relationships and for me that meant, when combined with the plot, Mikoto was a slow read. That almost never happens. But I felt immersed and caught by these characters and the unexpected couple at the heart of the story.

The world of the Amaranthine is familiar but different, and the decisions the main types of people (Amaranthine, Humans, and Reavers) make are based on rules that feel foreign but are never arbitrary. Thus when individuals make decisions that my brain might initially take umbrage with, I usually need to step back, reread, and consider how one reacts in this world. From that viewpoint it almost always makes sense, even when it can read a little cold-blooded.

I feel like a lot of that might end up coming across as vague, but I really really enjoyed reading this book. It made me want to own a physical copy, so I can have the feel of it and become familiar with where on an actual page my favorite parts are. The only thing that prevented me from immediately rereading it was that I went back and read Kimiko instead. Forthright is right up there with my other favorite authors, whose books I pine for but then end up despondent because I finish them in a day. I definitely think you should read it, but it does not stand alone so read the other three first. But that's not a bad list to have in front of you lol. 

Megan Batoon says in her most recent video that 2021 just feels like an addendum (if not the unasked for epilogue) of 2020, and honestly? Same.

I don't typically do resolutions, thus the general preponderance of content that specifically pushes improving oneself in various ways doesn't usually get to me. And while I can't say if that specifically is what changed this year, either way, the beginning of January has been ROUGH to say the least. I never like the cold, bleak period after Christmas, but combined with what felt like unending days of allergy terribleness and it was a special hell of Groundhog Day sadness. That to be completely honest is still mostly hanging around, which I think is true for the majority of us who are paying attention to COVID (+ US politics) and trying to keep themselves and their loved ones safe.

But I did find a little joy in reporting back my wardrobe additions for 2020, so I'm going to do my best to keep things going in 2021, starting with a word of the year. This year, for good or for ill, I've decided to go with Practice. That perspective, that practice brings progress but not perfection - because perfection isn't possible - really speaks to me at this time in my life where I'm struggling with any sense of normality. But I'm going to keep trying to push that overall purchase number down while also pushing the percentage of secondhand up, and after being inspired by Marielle's round up I'm starting with a concrete goal of:

Reducing the number of new-to-me items this year by 25%.

And 25% brings me down to 60 items, which is approximately (if I decide to think of it that way) 5 items per month. Now objectively this sounds like a totally achievable goal, but it's.... January 14th at the time of writing and I've purchased 6 items. So. We'll see. It's about practice (again) and I've never had a concrete goal of this type so what the hell. It's something different at least. Next goal:

Capture existing wardrobe in a tracking app.
(For fellow Android users, Smart Closet specifically.)

Now I admit this one is totally inspired by Frisky Gatos, but again, I think it's good to know, really know, what I own as I try to bring down even more the number of pieces I add to it. She has an incredible Instagram post about using an app and how she uses it to stay aware of what she actually has. As a goal I would probably say this one is the most intimidating, entirely due to the fact that it is tedious and super time consuming. It took me about 2 hours to do coats/outerwear. JUST COATS AND OTHER OUTWEAR.

(Pushing a boulder uphill, but pushing it nonetheless.)

I figure this means it's a slow goal and it won't have an end date other than 2021. After the slog of outerwear I managed to eventually finish sweaters and then denim, so I do think it's manageable. Just kind of the opposite of fun (for me). I definitely won't be tracking pajamas, and I'm 50/50 on athleisure and active wear. I have enough sports bras that I'm almost 100% positive I don't want to track them, but since I do some sort of physical activity everyday it's also the category I wear the most. I don't know how I'll feel about this later on in the year, so it's going to the bottom of the list with a huge maybe sticker next to the category.

Those are the primary goals, the last one is an open ended, kind of "if it doesn't make me sad" goal, and thus won't go in bold type: track the dollar amount of what I spend on clothing. I tried doing this... maybe 7 or 8 years ago? And got horrified and crapped out early. Which probably means I should have forced myself to do it again the next year, but WHATEVER. Young and less committed me will not be held to these ridiculous standards! We're living and learning here g*dammit! Now even if I successfully do this I'm not promising to share the final number, I feel like that might bring me to the "do or die" ledge of living some portion of my life on the internet, but ultimately I think I want to know. Or that's how I feel today anyway.

But that's it! Two big goals, one baby goal, who the hell knows how it'll all go. Thanks for sticking with me even though the global pandemic has me super disinclined to put on real clothes.

2020 huh? Hell of a year. And as I told a friend on Facebook, I'm not sure I held tight to my goals during my desperate attempt to survive it with my sanity intact. Way back at the beginning of January I had said my word for the year was Intentional. I wanted to get more intentional about my purchases, my closet, and the things I spent money on, in an attempt to mitigate clutter in my own life while also (maybe) doing a small part to help reduce my environmental footprint.  But you know what the world got instead? A freaking GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Fun times.

But not, so so not.

I was not one of those bloggers that created quarantine content. I could not find myself in my hobbies and instead I'm going to close out 2020 having read the least amount of books I have in years, not watched shows I started and enjoyed (*cough* Picard *cough*) or movies, and definitely bought more individual pieces of clothing than I intended. Retail therapy is a hell of a drug and while I'm a little ashamed to show you what I bought this year, it's also the project I set out for myself so f*ck it.

*Ethical/Sustainable
^Thrifted

1. Cardigan (Etsy)^2. High Rise Pants (Ann Taylor)
3. Linen Mix Swing Top (Ann Taylor)
4. Men's Pullover (Amalgamated)^
5. Linen Dress (Shop Berriez)^
6. White Cotton Pants (Vintage, Vincetta Studio)*
7. Turtleneck (COS)
8. Sweater Vest (COS)
9. High Waist Trousers (H&M)
10. Oversized Cable Knit Sweater (United Colors of Benetton, Ebay)*
11. Wool Coat (The Real Real)^
12. Sweatshirt (Reformation)*
13. Plaid Jacket (Sell Trade Plus)^
14. Quilted Pullover (Marine Layer)*
15. Sweater Dress (ASOS)
16. Wool/Sweater Coat (Madewell via Sell Trade Plus)^
17. Muscle Tank (The Outrage)*
18. Sweater Vest (H&M)
19. Boyfriend Sweater (Park Story)*
20. Wool Trousers (Escada/The Real Real)^
21. Velvet Set (Shop Berriez)^

Which is, drumroll please, a whopping total of:

80 new to me pieces of clothing

Which I would cheer and say is less than last year, but I stopped counting workout gear when I realized that was all I was doing in 2020 and I wanted enough pieces that laundry wasn't a constant concern. So some of them are captured, but there are probably another handful that escaped and I can't lie to you, I don't care.

The biggest deal, and the area where I'm most proud of my improvement, is the ratio of secondhand/thrifted to new pieces.

37.5%! That's a really big change from the 8% it was in 2019! I will say the goal in 2021 is still going to be buying less, especially because I have a very wibbly wobbly relationship with thrifted clothing (oh hi hello weird sizing discrepancies) that has only been exacerbated by current circumstances which have pushed most purchasing online. But it's been a year friends, and I think I have a decent idea of what I'd like my word to be for the next one.

And remember - be excellent to each other, wash your hands, and cover your face (& follow kinggutterbaby on Insta).

 Soooooo......

I'm not sure what to say. I feel like if I actually take the time to write about how I'm doing it's going to read as the manifesto of a depressed person that it is, but I guess I can say that I'm still here. I have not acclimated to this new normal. It makes me sad, lonely, and the onset of holidays I can't celebrate is just another reason why most things suck. I don't know if I want to keep my wardrobe or donate half of it, though donating it feels like giving in to the idea that I'll never be in a position to enjoy that type of life again which, WOOF, is rough.

I don't know friends. I just don't know.

Danessa Myricks Beauty Vision Cream Color L-R in N05, N06, and W04, $5 each

Danessa Myricks Beauty Vision Cream Color L-R in N05, N06, and W04

As of writing this post I've used the foundation twice and can say 1) it does indeed cover a lot, 2) it's still easily sheer-able, just by using less and really priming your application brush, 3) it did NOT like being applied on top of a silicone heavy primer (ala the Kryolan HD Micro Primer). It did this very weird collecting in pores thing that I was able to tap out with my fingers, but was a noticeable change from the first application.  Oh, and I would agree with Kinkysweat that N06 is the closest to my skin tone but a *tad* dark. Probably imperceptible if you weren't as anal as we (clearly) are.

But still, even with all these pictures I can hear a voice from the distance calling: "B*tch, where the hell are the swatches?!" And happily I can provide! I apparently just wasn't thinking about how I usually organize my post and took them all together so... mammoth swatch party ahead. 

And that's pretty much it! About as exciting as any of my first impressions are, but like I said - I'm super motivated when I can't find what I'm looking for on the internet, so here's hoping some of this eventually helps out a person in the near or distant future (if we still have a distant future in the United States, hehe... he... he....).