B.G.D. IV: The Rise and Fall of the Empire (Waist)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I have a strong love and hate relationship for empire waisted garments. At their best they help define a woman's shape and nicely disguise any problem areas; at their worst they seem to be a slap you in the face billboard showing that a woman does not know her size.


Let me start by saying one thing to the perpetrators of this fashion crime: I sympathize with your plight. I do. I know it's hard to be a woman with larger boobs on a smaller frame, but is this really the best that we can do? Wear empire waisted garments where the line either goes across or above our chest?

  Please see an example of this crime against nature at 1:28

This does not make you look good! You know that section in the back of Glamour magazine, the Fashion Do's & Don'ts? Ladies this is a HUGE fashion don't! When you put this mess on and walk around acting cute all it does it make me think you got dressed in the dark! Don't try and tell me that you think it fits. It doesn't. I know that, you know that, the world knows that. A properly fitting empire waist will have a line that fits under the bustline. No ifs, ands, or buts - that's what the garment is made to do. Emphasize the smallest part of the woman, traditionally right underneath the bust, while releasing looser fabric beneath that to help slenderize the rest of the body.

There are some wonderful shirts and dresses made with this shape and us bigger women should be excited the option exists. DON'T ABUSE THE PRIVILEGE. I might not be Stacy or Clinton, I might not have a 'fashion faerie' who can wave her little arm and fix your sins, but do you know how much willpower it takes for me not to walk up and hit you?! 

A lot. And I don't know how much longer I'll have the strength to continue.

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