I probably shouldn't already have feelings about my whole monthly goal thing huh? I mean it's been ONE DAY. Shouldn't I still be feeling my way and figuring out how it's going to go?
No. I can say with confidence right now that I hate it and it's possibly the worst idea I've ever had for myself.
I've had to accept the fact that I enjoy the activity of shopping. I like the act of going out - preferably with friends - and looking/trying things on. Yet I don't consider myself a true window shopper. I don't go out just to look. I don't go into Nordstrom or Saks and try on $500 CL's because I know I CAN'T HAVE THEM. I can't. They're not in the budget, they might never be in the budget, so why would I torture myself by trying something on that if I fell in love with I couldn't have?
That way lies madness.
But you know what way also lies madness? Going places like Eastern Market that have cool vintage bags and jewelry that while don't technically don't fall under my 'don't buy' label I won't allow myself to get. Yesterday was horrible. Horrible. I don't think I'm going to go into all the particulars of the stuff I feel in love with, but just imagine holding a beautiful blue vintage makeup case and having the seller tell you everything was marked at least $10 off because they hadn't been at the market for a couple weeks. I died a little inside.
Also hard? Reading the fashion blogs I love! I'm looking through the posts, seeing all the cool outfits, and I want them! And I can't have them! I want to shake my fist at the universe for showing me all this cute stuff when I can't buy/won't allow myself to buy anything!
The only - ONLY - good thing to come out of my outfit trial yesterday (which was actually really different for me) and doing it again this morning is that I am feeling inspired to start a new 'get rid of me' pile. I see more shoes and clothes going to GoodWill at the end of this month, which I'm hoping will make me feel less overwhelmed about everything I own.
So yeah. That's where I am. Sorry for the uber long random post but I figure if I'm doing this for myself and my style and my blog then the least I can do is write about it along the way. Even if some of that blogging turns into random rants of unhappiness.
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