(I also took the liberty for my own edification to track not just the number of items, but the cost, which I won’t be sharing here but maybe horrified me. A little. I’d never actually done that part before, but felt like living in ignorance wasn’t the better way to go.)

Another thing I learned more about this year was my relationship to thrifting, online specifically. I was following a lot of vintage/second hand clothing accounts in 2020 and I can’t say that anything I purchased via those channels were particularly long lasting in my closet. I don’t know what it is about the fact that I know my measurements and sh*t STILL doesn’t fit or looks different on my plus size body vs the example plus size body, but it’s a bummer. I know that it’s “better” to take clothing out of circulation vs buying new from even ethical/sustainable brands, but this non-returnable, do or die, decision required for vintage shopping is NOT IT. I need to try things on. I need to be able to see the viability of pieces, especially when you consider that I can alter things somewhat myself. But I barely even manage success buying secondhand things from brands I know my size in (looking at you Poshmark and the two LOFT jumpsuits I bought in 2020 that were both fails). I don’t think buying secondhand but ending up with pieces that I then have to re-home is particularly sustainable either (let alone for my budget), so I might have to accept that that percentage will go down in 2022.

So the question becomes, what about the next year? As I said previously I may try to catalog my wardrobe, I may not. We’ll see. But I do think having the goal, as hard as it was, was good for me. So I’m gonna bring it back, 60 items – but the twist is that to account for how I went over last year I’m going to subtract my overage right from the top. Is this is a terrible idea? PROBABLY WHO KNOWS. But I so infrequently wear real clothes that even the pieces I buy and love aren’t being appreciated enough. I’m really looking at a wardrobe of clothing for a life I no longer live and don’t know when I’ll live again, as depressing as that sounds. I’m very concerned that the middle ground I had between athleisure and fun/fancy dresses is gone and other than work there might be a big chunk of clothing that won’t be worn regularly. But to dwell too long on that lies madness and tears, so let’s just keep trying. Keep going in the direction of a wardrobe/closet I love and is useful to me, and if I can continue to try new brands doing good things in terms of both style and size inclusivity, that’d be great too.

Megan Batoon says in her most recent video that 2021 just feels like an addendum (if not the unasked for epilogue) of 2020, and honestly? Same.

I don't typically do resolutions, thus the general preponderance of content that specifically pushes improving oneself in various ways doesn't usually get to me. And while I can't say if that specifically is what changed this year, either way, the beginning of January has been ROUGH to say the least. I never like the cold, bleak period after Christmas, but combined with what felt like unending days of allergy terribleness and it was a special hell of Groundhog Day sadness. That to be completely honest is still mostly hanging around, which I think is true for the majority of us who are paying attention to COVID (+ US politics) and trying to keep themselves and their loved ones safe.

But I did find a little joy in reporting back my wardrobe additions for 2020, so I'm going to do my best to keep things going in 2021, starting with a word of the year. This year, for good or for ill, I've decided to go with Practice. That perspective, that practice brings progress but not perfection - because perfection isn't possible - really speaks to me at this time in my life where I'm struggling with any sense of normality. But I'm going to keep trying to push that overall purchase number down while also pushing the percentage of secondhand up, and after being inspired by Marielle's round up I'm starting with a concrete goal of:

Reducing the number of new-to-me items this year by 25%.

And 25% brings me down to 60 items, which is approximately (if I decide to think of it that way) 5 items per month. Now objectively this sounds like a totally achievable goal, but it's.... January 14th at the time of writing and I've purchased 6 items. So. We'll see. It's about practice (again) and I've never had a concrete goal of this type so what the hell. It's something different at least. Next goal:

Capture existing wardrobe in a tracking app.
(For fellow Android users, Smart Closet specifically.)

Now I admit this one is totally inspired by Frisky Gatos, but again, I think it's good to know, really know, what I own as I try to bring down even more the number of pieces I add to it. She has an incredible Instagram post about using an app and how she uses it to stay aware of what she actually has. As a goal I would probably say this one is the most intimidating, entirely due to the fact that it is tedious and super time consuming. It took me about 2 hours to do coats/outerwear. JUST COATS AND OTHER OUTWEAR.

(Pushing a boulder uphill, but pushing it nonetheless.)

I figure this means it's a slow goal and it won't have an end date other than 2021. After the slog of outerwear I managed to eventually finish sweaters and then denim, so I do think it's manageable. Just kind of the opposite of fun (for me). I definitely won't be tracking pajamas, and I'm 50/50 on athleisure and active wear. I have enough sports bras that I'm almost 100% positive I don't want to track them, but since I do some sort of physical activity everyday it's also the category I wear the most. I don't know how I'll feel about this later on in the year, so it's going to the bottom of the list with a huge maybe sticker next to the category.

Those are the primary goals, the last one is an open ended, kind of "if it doesn't make me sad" goal, and thus won't go in bold type: track the dollar amount of what I spend on clothing. I tried doing this... maybe 7 or 8 years ago? And got horrified and crapped out early. Which probably means I should have forced myself to do it again the next year, but WHATEVER. Young and less committed me will not be held to these ridiculous standards! We're living and learning here g*dammit! Now even if I successfully do this I'm not promising to share the final number, I feel like that might bring me to the "do or die" ledge of living some portion of my life on the internet, but ultimately I think I want to know. Or that's how I feel today anyway.

But that's it! Two big goals, one baby goal, who the hell knows how it'll all go. Thanks for sticking with me even though the global pandemic has me super disinclined to put on real clothes.

2020 huh? Hell of a year. And as I told a friend on Facebook, I'm not sure I held tight to my goals during my desperate attempt to survive it with my sanity intact. Way back at the beginning of January I had said my word for the year was Intentional. I wanted to get more intentional about my purchases, my closet, and the things I spent money on, in an attempt to mitigate clutter in my own life while also (maybe) doing a small part to help reduce my environmental footprint.  But you know what the world got instead? A freaking GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Fun times.

But not, so so not.

I was not one of those bloggers that created quarantine content. I could not find myself in my hobbies and instead I'm going to close out 2020 having read the least amount of books I have in years, not watched shows I started and enjoyed (*cough* Picard *cough*) or movies, and definitely bought more individual pieces of clothing than I intended. Retail therapy is a hell of a drug and while I'm a little ashamed to show you what I bought this year, it's also the project I set out for myself so f*ck it.

*Ethical/Sustainable
^Thrifted

1. Cardigan (Etsy)^2. High Rise Pants (Ann Taylor)
3. Linen Mix Swing Top (Ann Taylor)
4. Men's Pullover (Amalgamated)^
5. Linen Dress (Shop Berriez)^
6. White Cotton Pants (Vintage, Vincetta Studio)*
7. Turtleneck (COS)
8. Sweater Vest (COS)
9. High Waist Trousers (H&M)
10. Oversized Cable Knit Sweater (United Colors of Benetton, Ebay)*
11. Wool Coat (The Real Real)^
12. Sweatshirt (Reformation)*
13. Plaid Jacket (Sell Trade Plus)^
14. Quilted Pullover (Marine Layer)*
15. Sweater Dress (ASOS)
16. Wool/Sweater Coat (Madewell via Sell Trade Plus)^
17. Muscle Tank (The Outrage)*
18. Sweater Vest (H&M)
19. Boyfriend Sweater (Park Story)*
20. Wool Trousers (Escada/The Real Real)^
21. Velvet Set (Shop Berriez)^

Which is, drumroll please, a whopping total of:

80 new to me pieces of clothing

Which I would cheer and say is less than last year, but I stopped counting workout gear when I realized that was all I was doing in 2020 and I wanted enough pieces that laundry wasn't a constant concern. So some of them are captured, but there are probably another handful that escaped and I can't lie to you, I don't care.

The biggest deal, and the area where I'm most proud of my improvement, is the ratio of secondhand/thrifted to new pieces.

37.5%! That's a really big change from the 8% it was in 2019! I will say the goal in 2021 is still going to be buying less, especially because I have a very wibbly wobbly relationship with thrifted clothing (oh hi hello weird sizing discrepancies) that has only been exacerbated by current circumstances which have pushed most purchasing online. But it's been a year friends, and I think I have a decent idea of what I'd like my word to be for the next one.

And remember - be excellent to each other, wash your hands, and cover your face (& follow kinggutterbaby on Insta).